Ok where have I been and what have I been upto!
... not much ...
Working on this and that, but mostly... I hate to admit it... I've been lost in playing Fallout 3 and now GTAIV
Major productivity boosting stuff, both games easily have a 100 hours of play time in them before completion.
Both amazing games, if you can look past a few bugs and your machine is high spec.
I have finally solved my light math/ auto exposure problem thanks to Wesley Bourne, I'll be posting more on that when I get some good examples of it together...
But really, nothing much to report other than lots of game playing and mince pie eating really.. tis the season to get fat and sleep loads.
Oh and I moved ISP to O2 and right now I can highly recommend them especially if your already a O2 mobile customer as you get money off. i've downloaded 70gb and Uploaded 60gb already and I've only been on a few weeks. Nice and fast!
I realized something rather profoundly obvious the other day, how when I need to or have to do something I offload it onto the future so... I'll do it tomorrow, or later.. as if the me doing it later is another person.. offloading work to someone else, but of course.. that other person is me. So it really does nothing but delay the inevitable. Your going to be just as 'you' later as you are now, and the work is going to be just as boring then and your going to want to offload it onto someone else or your future self just as much then too.
I just found it rather funny, how internally I felt or had this idea that doing something later was like another person or something, hard to describe. It's hard living and dealing with the NOW all the time we build up all these concepts of the future and life as a line and progression when really all there is is 'now', so offloading into the future is just a way of pissing off my future 'now'.
I was thinking how if I had done something hard or important every day for the last year.. 5 years or so on.. how id be rewarding myself now, all the hard work would have been done by someone else, a past me and id be enjoying it now. That's another interesting way of looking at it, give your future 'now' a gift instead of offloading work onto it, think how your future 'now' will feel if you go and get that work out the way right now.
I know what I mean
:-)
From a new print advert by Microsoft:
"Windows vs Walls. This epic struggle explains why we make what we make and do what we do. The thing that gets us out of bed every day is the prospect of creating pathways above, below, around and through walls. To start a dialogue between hundreds of devices, billions of people and a world of ideas. To lift up the smallest of us. And catapult the most audacious of us. But, most importantly, to connect all of us to the four corners of our own digital lives and to each other. To go on doing the little stuff, the big stuff, the crazy stuff and that ridiculously necessary stuff. On our own or together. This is more than software we're talking about. It's an approach to life. An approach dedicated to engineering the absence of anything that might stand in the way of life. Today, more than one billion people worldwide have Windows. Which is just another way of saying we have each other.'
I guess they must be done with imitating Seinfeld a show about nothing, so they are apparently taking a new approach, badly imitating Apples adverts, first with the "I'm a PC, and I've been stereotyped... get over it" to this new Print Advert that smacks of Apples Think Different campaign, but of course done with It's own brand of cluelessness... heres to the crazy stupid ones; Microsoft
I thought Microsoft was at least trying to consolidate to ONE message, which would have been a nice change, even if It's message was, "hey were not a big ass evil corporation, were just a bunch of nerds who don't get people, but we try!" that still would have still been better than the hodge podge of messages they are now putting out. Microsoft is having a serious identity crisis. What are you Microsoft? a huge corporation without a mission statement = none stop entertainment.
Mojave, Seinfeld, I'm a PC, Windows vs Walls..... what a mess
I'm going to go off on a rant now as is my right as a slightly informed human being
It's interesting to see how both companies are very much like their respective creators, despite all the people that make up the companies.
Microsoft being the money grabbing autistic misfit who thinks people want their lives cataloged sorted and ordered by size. You only have to watch Bill Gates for a few minutes as he rocks back and forth talking about connecting people and how everyone wants 'insert stupid idea here' , to realize while being very IQ intelligent and ruthless, the man does not occupy the same reality as anyone else. Depending on what his REAL goals were in life, he's done crazily well, can't fault the income figures, well these days you can but he's not exactly actively running the company any more is he, monkey boy Balmer is, and monkey boy is as big of a social misfit as Gates but with a monkeys brain opposed to Gates's planet sized intellect.
I don't believe for a second Gates has any interest beyond making stuff ONLY HE think's is cool and making tons of cash... which is fair enough if he'd just come out and admit it, but he's a squirmy little lying scheming vindictive back stabber
At this point I'd like to point out some things about Apple and the way they behaves borders on insanity sometimes too, such as It's insane secrecy and own self importance. But they do at the end of the day put out stuff that makes my life MUCH better, so they can act as self important as they like, because.. well... they fucking earned it! as Microsoft continues to put out stuff that actually quite dramatically sometimes make my life much HARDER.
And some (not all) of the things Apple put's out are clearly things Steve Jobs just thought would be really 'neat' and wanted to play with... but unlike Gates, Jobs shares reality with a greater majority of people on this Earth, so when Jobs makes something cool for himself, It's often pretty damn cool for everyone else too.
Microsoft has only ONE angle it could ever possibly win at. The angle of supporting everything, supporting any device, any manufacturer, any phone, not locking people into formats or vendors. About openness, about CHOICE. But they still seem to be dominated by the old school of thought that they must own and force down the throats of others their own convoluted standards or the slightly bastardized microsoftized standards of others... and that is, because after all is said and done, they are still money grabbing unscrupulous self interested liars and thieves at the core
End Rant
Oh and just to hit the message home, someone just sent me this video link:
Link: www.youtube.com
It really needs no commentary
Aptitudes, most of us have them I presume... if not all.
Though they can be elusive, what tickles your fancy, what floats your boat, what what you enjoy doing most, enjoy even if you did it badly? even if you weren't the best at it, you'd still enjoy doing it.
It's a question I've been asking myself.
I love creating stuff, that much is evident. I've probably gone over it all before, how I like creating things that transport people somewhere, that evoke emotion. That is after all what all art is meant for is it not. Music is meant to change your mood, to take you someplace or to compliment how you currently feel. I've thought before about technicaly what would best medium for that be, what would be most effective. Music and Cinema top the list by far. And Cinema with Music easily wins and no doubt will remain king till we devise ways to tap directly into your mind. Of course Games are in effect realtime interactive cinema in a way, so they should be the most effective, and sometimes this is true, but the majority of games I feel do not suspend disbelief, do not transport you emotionally and just fail to evoke emotion... at least with most FPS.
The lighting is one big reason for this, It's bad, It's poofy blurry and unrealistic of late. Now everything is trying to be super dynamic, it looks much worse for it. But it will get better real soon as they perfect realtime global illumination and even baked GI is coming back in fashion now that they have realized how stupid bump mapping looks without good lighting to go with it (Doom)
I'm not about to go produce a film, so cinema is out of the question, though FX reels and 3D animation compositions set to obligatory banging techno music shouldn't be discounted.. that I might enjoy.
But what I'm thinking of right now is Architecture. Not that boring prefab stuff that will fall down in 100 years. Not that 'landmark' outrageous symbolistic architecture designed to brand a city and invite tourism... no no... I\'m talking the virtual kind. The kind that doesn't need to stand up to weather and rain. Doesn't need working ventilation, It's only need is to be aesthetic.
We have galleries filled with photography and painting. Should we have hollodecks, id imagine the same thing existing for places and architecture. The Physical building of structure is costly and lengthy, It's far from iterative, and I'm all about the iterative design.
Games seem to be ever increasing detail focussed, you can't see the wood for the trees or the level for the decals and instanced mechanical shapes.
Thats a large sweeping statement, It's not all bad... but most of it is. Most level designers seem to have no artistic ability. They may know a lot about weapon placement and flow, but have the aesthetic sensibility of a dried raison.
Add a corridor here, another over there, then instead of designing it, just throw in some pipes, grills, vents, panels and random lights and It's a level.
Most people probably don't even know what real Architecture is, they may never have even seen it.
Link: helios.mine.nu --- Inspiration
This guy gets it:
Santiago Calatrava
I've visited some of his buildings in Valencia and It's amazing stuff (some of the above photos of my visit, I took like millions of photos!). Like your on a some giant futuristic film set. But It's simple, elegant and somehow stands up against gravity.
Stuff id even struggle to draw and grasp the shape of in my head, are built out of large very real tonnages of concrete, It's what Architecture should be in my opinion.
Anyhoo, to tie it all up. I've noticed I like architecture, a good deal, having been introduced to the real stuff. So right now what floats my boat is racing fast cars and building massive epic cool ass buildings/places. And I'm not doing either of them professionally or even hobbying in them.... so something is wrong, something has to change!
Games are about to get an injection of realism that should bring back the emotion and sense of place/space that's currently lacking as global illumination/radiosity whatever you call it, makes it into games in a big way, and hopefully bump mapping will die off and become the subtle effect it should only ever have been.
What place is their in the world for someone who makes building just to walk around them, just to look at them. Cars are somewhat regarded as the epitome of product design a lovely excuse to create a beautiful evocative form, with the benefit of grossing large sums of money. Functional technical and artistic master pieces:
Car pornography above in the form of the Aston Martin DBS/9
I'm going to go ahead and make a bold future prediction for which I may look either silly or ingenious for in the future.
People buying and selling virtual architecture/products of all shapes and sizes...
Sounds silly.. people are doing it already to a degree in virtual worlds such as SecondLife
People are making real money selling virtual produce. Maybe that's the future... maybe that's where I can make my millions doing something I'm passionate about.
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter.
He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous --yes.
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar -- effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal."
"Take care of the rocks first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."
I was talking with my mate a week ago about what a pure intelliegnce would be, and we basially came to the conclusion that it wouldnt think anything, because there is no need to
And any giant human like intelligence, should it exist, would basically be depressed as it would know everythinig and that would make it miserable, it would also have no real motivation of It's own, I thought this before I saw Hitchikers Guide, but they pegged it brilliantly:
Marvin: I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.
Trillian: Well, we have something that may take your mind off it.
Marvin: It won't work, I have an exceptionally large mind.
Trillian: Yeah, we know.
Also touched on the concept of personal accountability
Ultimately no one is responsible for there own actions as It's all a product of something else happening prior
These bizarre human concepts fall completely apart when taken out of the narrow band of existence that we experience.
They only help describe the immediate reality we experience, which of course exists only in our own head.
A make believe world of reason/purpose
Ultimately I keep coming back to the same kind of conclusion, and It's not a unique one by far
We only do things we want to do
Reason and purpose exist only in your mind, and ONLY to your own mind
This basically means anything you do, you do for your own reason... anything.
It's not physically possible to do things for someone elses reason, unless they implanted something in your head.
